Grief, loss, hard things and glitter............

 

I have been putting off a project long overdue.

I did it piecemeal ... a bit at a time.

It was time this week to just do it.

With all of the work I have done the past years on 

healing...it was time.

Grief , no matter why is not something for me at least that

you just *do* once and move on.

I tried that.

No, it is something that becomes a part of who you are.

Just as the joy and miracles do.

For me, loss is the theme of my life.

Loss of so many people, ideas, innocence  & way too young.

Losing parents, children and yourself, or who you thought that

you were can destroy you.

You can also lose people who mattered so very much but you

realize it later.... like when you move away.

Then there is the loss of loved ones who spirited themselves

away with no explanation or resolve....usually victims of

the common modern narrative that if you do not agree 

with whatever - it can be anything said to them

they ghost you....supported by equally morally lacking people.

It is a travesty ...and it has been a epidemic no one talks about.

Because they use shame to silence you.

Grief can be experienced with the loss of pets as well.

During the past 8 years, the creep of loss and grief

in relationships has been a cancer on society.

To qualify love is gross...especially to loved ones.

This part of the equation makes me mad.

People knowingly stoking hateful flames that cause divides.

With no remorse, no conscience, no accountability.

Yes, that does make me quite angry.

Grief and I have had a complicated relationship all of my life.

*******************

A long time ago I learned that the very best way to

alleviate some of the pain is to give back...contribute to the light.

Allow all of the good that you have inside to spill out of the cracks grief

created. And through charity , volunteer works and my everyday

meeting with all sorts of folks I have found ways to give light.

Even when I work....or especially then.

To open up your heart when it is do damaged and connect

with the light of others is a miracle...it truly is.

What am I posting this?

Because. 

Because it is time that I no longer allow even the smallest

amount of that pain to color my world.

Because I KNOW that there are others like me out there who

feel the same. It is now time to lift our heads out of shame, fear and 

unwarranted humiliation.

I k now that pain, and I know that it has kept all of us from living the lives that

we were meant to live.

Whatever it takes to heal.... do it.

For me it has been sifting through old phots.

Stuck in a trunk on the 3rd floor they lived for almost 5 years.

Like I said, at first I went through a bit at a time.

Every time felt like a gut punch, I cried, I got physically ill,

the rest of the day was shot- all I wanted to do was

lie on my bed and unreel all that I felt.

Until this summer... though it still hurts, I was able to complete

phase 1 of this project for the people I love the most in the world.

Sometimes you just have to do the hard thing.

In a world where things appear fake, AI is happening, lies are rampant ,

the honesty of feelings is weirdly refreshing.

Even the hard ones.

I wish I knew who wrote this because I have had it printed and put

in my bible which I read every day.

I get grief, and I also get glitter.... so it makes sense to me .

And just think..........

when you share your situations, you just may very well be helping another

who is in pain as well, with nowhere to turn.

Like casting glittery seeds of hope everywhere!

Facing and managing hard things is not for the weak it is also not

difficult as it could be if you have the support system in place first.

I am grateful for having a seriously amazing therapist, a 12 step program for families,

Mentors, friends and most of all... my faith to bring me all the way here.

If anyone of you ever needs an online or in person shoulder....

never hesitate to ask me.

Now I just want to close by saying that we all have hard things that

we are dealing with that no-one knows about.

All of us.

If we could just place ourselves in their place without judgement- stripping

away our egos, we would be able to heal so many more.

Be a light.

Be that one person who rises above the rest and sees the light in others.

Bless you.

Raven

xoxo