No recipe, no home keeping tips... just some Stevie.

 

Fri-yay!

Oh it is Friday and grey but I did get a walk in when the sunshine was

gloriously on my face. I moved furniture & rugs ( still Spring cleaning)

and added to my Postmark pile as well as the donation box.

I feel like after working through life over the past few years

it is FINALLY time for me to live in real time.

I have reflected, refined, re-visited and removed elements.

( I still am, I wake every day wanting to move excitedly into the next chapter)

I once had a therapist..I loved her, she helped me work through some

terribly intense things. She said to me after years & years

.* it is time for you

to now go and enjoy the rest of your life, 

you've done the work...now go & live!*

This was after I lost so much, was doubting everything, was raw

and scared, scarred and broken.

I looked her in the eye and said, * I will try*

I still am trying.

First, I want to say a huge thank you to the people who disappointed

and hurt me. 

You all were the catalysts for this powerful change

...and I appreciate that final unintentional gift.

You know, there are gifts everywhere if you just train your mind to look.

I have ( as you all know) loved Stevie since I was a child.

I do not always agree on everything she says or stands for.

That is one reason why I love her.

I know that my teenaged self wouldn't care.

I just loved her music and the way it made me feel.

Still do.

This is one of my favorite songs.

Now Stevie says it is about her dad really. She wrote it in Aspen

after he had told her that he would support her whether she sang or went 

back to college. He was the president of Greyhound at the time.

She sang, made hits and here we are...

But this song, it hits me at every chapter of my life.

I have to admit, I love when they would perform it live,

her and Lindsey. That energy is real.

I understand that energy 100%.

We all have a past....

But it is very appropriate right now.

In this new chapter of being.

Time surely makes you bolder & braver and you do things even if

you are scared to bits.

All of my Holistic health chart is firing up...all of it.

From what I am eating to how I exercise, how I approach 

my goals, my spirituality... friendships, everything.

Now is the time.

Now.

Remember this?

A few years ago I clung to this saying.

I made it my mantra.

I was scared, I lived in fear, my heart was broken and all of it

just killed my desire to enjoy life.

A lot of folks never knew how devastated I was.

How utterly broken.

Though I fought to hide it ... I am guessing that some folks saw.

But none really wanted to care.

It is okay, not their jobs to fix me.

But these were people who I would have done anything for.

Time went on...

Life got icky.

Still is, I shall not sugar coat how difficult it has been for me

with old relationships that ended without a call, text or letter.

People want tolerance yet are not tolerant and I am so sick

of making excuses for peoples selfish behaviours.

I learned that no amount of love can heal when one party is bent on 

inflicting pain.

I can still miss them.

I can still pray for them.

I can still wonder about them.

I can still hurt.

But the time for sitting at the gate like a devoted dog

waiting for a response is over.

Mended things are frequently more beautiful than the originals.

Like hearts.

So on I go.... you guys are coming along!

To all the mistakes and weirdness, happenings and ideas....

I will no longer censor myself.

That gives the past power.

For God made you wild child...

and that is what I will do.

Grow Sweetly Wild

This morning,  I got in my sunshine, walked a bit over a mile...

even though the bear is still out there.

I am realising that Faith over Fear will be a recurring theme

throughout my life.

I id plant a goal to walk faster every time I get to that sign.

I stopped at a bridge downstream and imagined throwing 

all of the icky things that had me stuck into the murky waters.

Every day I will do that until I have nothing left to throw in.

I wish for you to have a lovely day.

Please know that I am a work in progress, never perfect, always

growing and healing ...changing and praying with Grace.

But time makes you bolder, even children get older,

I'm getting older too...

xoxo

Raven