Sometimes life feels hard.
It is not lack of gratitude.
It can be as simple as losing yourself for a moment.
All through my life there have been folks who act as if they cared
when they only were noisy or waiting to see me fail.
That is about them, I get it but it does not make it hurt less.
Because I believed in unconditional love for all.
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God has given me so much for which I am grateful for.
So why do I have these moments of sadness and self doubt
even though I have spent a full year working towards
finding a more peaceful & healthy life?
Perhaps it is part of the process.
Perhaps it is a grieving for what once was.
Perhaps I am emotionally detoxing.
Times like these I miss my mother more than usual.
Unconditional love is a beautiful thing.
You just can not give it away and save none for yourself.
In quietness I have been working , keeping
things to myself and sharing only with God because
I have lost the ability to trust people.
The whole feeling is just so BIG.
Grieving for the losses , for the missed opportunities, for
the people who suffered and who are still.
Grief for who we once were, for our innocence.
Grief for our trust, for our loss of connection.
For the communities that are broken and may never heal.
For the fractured families and friendships.
Grief is a wildfire that ignites hidden areas of your life
that no longer serves you.
In the end...
Seasons of grief can be beneficial .
They can clear the way and allow for healing and new growth.
As I pass through this season of life I wanted to be open and genuine
with you all.
I am fortunate to have my faith & my family.
May you all have a blessed Sunday.
xoxo
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